What This Is About
(Success and People Bringing You Down) Dealing with people that try to get in your way or make you feel bad about what you are trying to do for yourself.
I have a recent emotional experience to share with you. Although I’m not exactly sure which emotion was the main emotion, I had a few, I know something struck me inside. At the same time, it didn’t hinder my ideas and goals for my future. I have had trouble with success and people bringing me down in the past and this time I will make sure my success has a different outcome!
I created a project and showed someone what I had done and while this person told me that it was great and nice and really good this person made a few comments that really made me feel like what I was doing was good “for me” but not in general, not in the long haul, and not good enough to present to other people.
While I plan to create my own personal designs I don’t have any just yet so I used a stencil to decorate a project. That is why stencils are created, am I right? Anywho, this person said something along the lines of, “Anyone can use a stencil but if you would put your own design on it…” I didn’t even let the sentence finish and I happily responded with, “I know! I can’t wait to start working on my own designs because I am definitely going to do that!” THEN this person ALSO said, “And that woodburning you do…I think if I sat down with a stencil I could do it too”. At first, I thought it was a comment aimed at the fact this person wanted to try it out and get creative. I was wrong. So, of course, I answered that comment with an excited, “Oh yeah you definitely could do it!” because I would love for this person to do something creative period, or at least try. Then the next comment made me realize that this person was indirectly being an ass. Yes…an ass.
How It Made Me Feel
Anger, Pain, & Sadness During A Success Journey (While People Are Bringing You Down)
Angry because this person had vowed to support me and my choices, Pain because this person had the audacity to speak to me like this knowing how passionate I am about what I am doing, and Sadness because this person has watched me put in so much time and effort, worry and overwhelm, while tending to my other “life responsibilities” at the same time just as much, if not more, than before I started down this path of future success.
What really hurts is the fact of how close we are and our relationship. The fact that I was supposed to be getting support from this person. The fact that all of a sudden this person wanted to start belittling what I am doing, not giving me ideas but shaming what I had done like it wasn’t worthy of a second look. That’s the emotion I got first. Deep cutting pain in my heart and comment in my mind something like, “Oh no you just did not speak to me that way”. If it were advice or ideas or anything other than…well…what it was, it wouldn’t have hurt.
I like criticism, I ask for it, I have always invited healthy criticism. If I learn from it I invite it, if it’s harsh and cruel comments it doesn’t bother me and I move on. At this point in my life, Success and people bringing me down is officially a thing of the past and I will strive to stay aware of the risks of allowing others to deplete my energy and their attempts to redirect my efforts. You should do the same. It feels amazing to be aware of this and make the conscious choice to stay clear of the negativity in the future (and present) endeavors! Join me!
So, I moved on and I didn’t allow it to interfere with my work or my plans or my projects. Everyone learns differently, everyone gets ideas differently, and everyone progresses in their own time and in their own ways. I realized how little this person knows about self-care (as I have spoken to this person about it and this person refuses to practice self-care), how little this person knows about learning things (as this person continues to tell me how hard my choices will be as if I haven’t already done my own research and made my own plans and goals), and how little this person knows about anything that I am doing in my life right now (enough said at this point).
How I Handled The Situation In the Moment
I replied to all of the comments with enthusiasm to make it seem like I didn’t take offense to the harsh words. I made a mental note to myself that I will no longer show this person my work anymore. I never led on that anything that was said even bothered me in the slightest. Why? Because I didn’t want this person to know that they could get to me or that they could say things that might alter my decision to go after a dream I have. I acted like everything was normal and like everything that was being said made total sense!
Sometimes when you are trying to get to a point in your life those types of comments and negative/jealous criticism will hinder you and make you have second thoughts about your own life choices. I felt like the best way to keep this from happening was to stay away from any negative conversations and to keep a “how dare you to say that to me” attitude out of the mix. I already felt like crap, why drag it out any further? All I wanted to do was get this person on quit talking to me, period! So I went along with it all and when I saw my “out”, I took it and never spoke on it again. The emotions stayed with me, though.
It is just one of those things that anyone with a dream will have to go through when you have judgemental/jealous people around. I say jealous because when someone sees you go after something you believe in, they start to think about all the things they never chased after and they become jealous of you for chasing after yours. It’s not something that they even realize they are doing (hopefully).
What I (and You) Should Promise Yourself In Any Situation Dealing With Success and People Bringing You Down
Stick to the plan, stay with your original goals, and learn these types of lessons as you go. Don’t let anyone tell you that what you are doing isn’t good enough. It’s good enough for someone else and that someone else will come along and see your work and it will touch their hearts and they will love it. Don’t worry about the people that don’t resonate with your calling. The ones that are meant to find you will find you when it’s their time. Good things in life take time. Chasing after your dreams take time. Figuring out your calling and your place in the mix of everyday life takes time. Not one person on this planet has ever woken up sitting in their own successes. It all TAKES TIME! Know this and come back to this fact when you feel low and when you feel judged by others that have no idea about the things you are doing for yourself and for others. They have no CLUE!
Some Honest and Real Advice
A bit of advice (that many, many successful people will also tell you) from experience. (I am in no way successful but I like to listen to successful people!) One truth that you must always remember when you are trying to do something for yourself and for your own life is this: loved ones are usually the ones that will hold you back from moving forward. If they don’t talk you out of completely quitting they will talk you into making different choices that are not what you originally wanted to do. These will throw you off track and will eventually turn you into someone you never planned on being. Don’t fall for this because once you start doing things for someone else you WILL quit loving what you are doing, period. Do it for yourself and do it because you love it. Otherwise, it won’t last very long.
Make “Success and people bringing you down” a thing of the past!
If this article resonates with you then you don’t want to miss this article’s side-kick on “Awareness”!